Romantically Inclined

Saturday I spoke to the Maumee Valley Romance Writer's Association. It all happened because I met Barbara Horvath (third from left in the picture) at the WEN (Women's Entrepreneurial Network) last fall. Self admittedly, she was "trolling" the crowd that day, for speakers for this group.

I took the bait!

What a fun group! They come from all walks of life; a bankruptcy attorney, an owner of a beauty salon, one who works in the newsroom of a local TV station and a stay-at-home mom were just a few that I got to talk to.

They are all in this together, most writing multiple books, some already published and others still hoping for that day. One is published both in the states and also in Great Briton. One has just received word that she is going to be published and is worried about how she now has to act when she goes to the national conference.

Some funny comments that I overhead at the lunch after the meeting.
One writer said that her husband read her book and said, "No way, I'm not doing that with you!" Her reply was that she wasn't planning on doing it with him!"

Another was from the really nice stay-at-home mom who has moved around the country so many times as a result of her husband's job. She said that she felt so bad about what she did to a heroine in one of her books. She said, "I still feel sorry for Terry because of how bad I was to her!"



(It made me wonder if she was just taking out her stress of moving on her fictional character.)

Another member was stressed over the fact that she needed to create a marketing plan for the newest book. Things like updating her website and creating a blog were all part of that plan. Her complaint was that stuff like that takes her away from writing.

Sound familiar?

It should, because all business people face the same challenges and doubts. And the romance writers are no different.

New Acquaintance

I am slowly learning my way around Findlay and getting to know members of the community one person at a time.

Several months ago I met Rick Beverly at the GreaterFindlayInc monthly breakfast meeting called Fresh Brewed. Rick is the local president of Citizen's National Bank and that morning his bank had been one of the sponsors of the event.

After the formal part of the meeting was done, I had a moment to chat with Rick and asked if we could get together. We scheduled an appointment, but because of how busy each of us is, we've had to delay that appointment several times.

Wednesday I was heading to Findlay and Tuesday I found out that I had an opening in my schedule. I called Rick and he was gracious enough to give me 30 minutes of his time.

Rick is really an interesting guy. He's been in banking all his adult life, having started at little Continental State Bank right out of high school. His career has taken him through all areas of banking and several different institutions. He likes his current bank because they are local and yet can provide many of the bells and whistles for his clients that a larger bank can do.

What really won me over about him was how committed he is to his 13 year old daughter. He has helped to coach her basketball team ever since she was a little girl. In that time her team has lost only four games. Parents tell Rick that they're so happy their daughter is on the team he helps to coach because he helps to instills good skills, both basketball and life, that will be a foundation for a successful life.

Bankers are real people!

"I just did a one!"

My friend Sandy Pirwitz made me laugh the other day. She has a knack for doing that. She called me to tell that she'd just done a "one."

I (and I'm sure you are doing the same) said, "Huh?"

It seems that Sandy has a meeting scheduled with another person to get to know that person. We label that type of meeting a one 2 one. It seems that Sandy never got a word in edgewise. It was a one!

Give and take in a one 2 one meeting is a hallmark of good networking. But obviously this person didn't know better. Unfortunately, people are going to run from this person in the future.

This does NOT mean that the conversation has to be 50/50 either. Many times I like to find out as much as I can about a person and end up letting them talk 90% of the time. But I am inviting that much focus by continuing to ask questions about them.

Have you ever been involved in a one? What did you do the next time you saw that person?

Scary Ways

I have just finished reading Stolen Innocence, the true story of the young woman, Elissa Wall, who was forced to marry someone against her wishes when she was only 14. She was a member of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints or FLDS as it is known. She went on to testify against Warren Jeffs in the state's trial against him. It was brought about because he forced this marriage even though she was underage and did not want it. While it is a very sad story, what is amazing is the end of the book. Elissa Wall moves through all the sadness and disruption in her life to let those in her life, especially those still in the FLDS compounds know that she still loves them. She refuses to let anger and hurt rule her life.

Just previous to this book, I read The Bookseller of Kabul, set in Afghanistan. Again women have no standing in the community and just as in the first book, women are thought of as a man's property.

In this day and age.

While I am not a man-hater, in both books, men thirsted for power. They were not happy unless everyone obeyed them.

Power. Small word. Ugly consequences.

My massage therapist has a saying displayed in her office that reads something like this, "When the power of love supersedes the love of power, only then will we have peace."

I have nothing more to say.

The Best of the Best

I have been a member of BNI since January 1994. Since then I have probably attended at least 48 meetings per year for 13 1/2 years. (A few weeks of having subs for when I was on vacation or at conferences made up for the other 4 weeks per year.) If you do the math, that's approximately 650 weeks. So that means I have seen that many ten minute presentations given by members. For those of you not BNI members, each week one member gives a ten minute presentation about their business.

Today was a high point!

New member, Cheryl Minifie, who is an independent insurance agent for Preferred Insurance Network, regaled us with facts and figures about auto insurance.

How in the world could that be the best of the best???

Let me tell you.

Cheryl, disappeared from the room just about the time another member, Tom Baur, was giving her introduction. He even finished the intro and everyone said, "Where's Cheryl?"

Seconds later, the door banged open and in rushed Cheryl, straw hat, jeans and all. But this person said she wasn't Cheryl, but that she was Cheryl's hillbilly cousin, Charlene. And since Charlene had ridden in on her horse, she could only stay about ten minutes, "cause she didn't want the neighbor across the street to get mad about her horse eating too much of his grass."

Charlene "stumbled" her way through the explanation of the ins and outs of car insurance. She had us in stitches. She gave us good information that could have really been boring if presented in any other way. But what was even more important was that Charlene/Cheryl showed us how she will take care of people we'll send her way. She'll have fun with them. She also knows her stuff. And she kept repeating that her goal was to give people the coverage they need, but that's all because she doesn't believe in giving those big insurance companies any more money than necessary.

Cheryl/Charlene, my hat's off to you. You gave the best presentation I have seen in over 13 years. (That's Cheryl leaving the meeting on "horse"power!)

And gosh darn, you've put the pressure on as I'm giving my presentation in just two weeks.

What's This About?

I have had an interesting week of people canceling appointments at the last minute. Now, I do know the stuff gets in the way, but in most of the instances the person either forgot or had something more important to do.

HM-M-M-M-M

I always give out my cell phone number because I want to be notified if something does come up. I also take the person's cell # to let them know just in case I have an emergency. Because you see, I would make every effort to keep an appointment unless it was a life and death emergency.

I can tell you that I will schedule a second time, but when it happens that the second appointment is kicked to the curb, I am ready to go on to the next person.

Am I being too unforgiving?

Perception

Usually in the past 4 or 5 summers, I have made a goal to take Fridays off. I wasn't always successful and sometimes I only got part of the day, but that was the goal.

This summer, with trying to fill three Certified Networker classes in three widely ranging areas, I have booked my days full with those types of activities. I have days dedicated to meeting with people in Toledo, Findlay and Archbold (near Defiance on the map at left.)

Steve and I don't typically take a summer vacation, so no lengthy time off was planned. Then I got two communications from friends.

My friend, Deanna Tucci Schmitt, said, "I miss you, when can we get together?" We carved out the weekend of the fourth of July.

Then last night my friend, Marcia, (she'll kill me when she knows that I used the picture below!) with whom I had renewed my friendship about three years ago, e-mailed to say that she has ovarian cancer and could I come this summer. Now let me tell you, visiting Marcia and Gary at Tingley Lake, PA is like the best. But with my schedule I hadn't given myself permission to do that.

Now, it's not about me. I will be driving the long trip toward the end of July, if it fits into Marcia's chemo schedule. I'll have to change a couple appointments that week, but I can do that.

Now, I want to be there for her. Don't get me wrong, it will still be fun for me. But friends, especially long time friends, are where my thoughts are this AM.

What goal have you changed in response to a friend's call?