Where Does the Time Go?

I have not had time to write this past week because I was busy getting ready for a preview for the fall Certified Networker class in Archbold and also my friend, Marcia Housel and her husband, Gary, came to visit. Marcia will undergo surgery Monday, September 8 for her ovarian cancer. Some of you remember that I drove out to their house this summer to spend a week.

As she was leaving this morning, she said, "Why can't you live 500 miles closer?" Well, I don't, but that doesn't mean that I must only visit once per year. I'm thinking that I might just turn the yellow Mini east around the first of November to go back out to visit. She will have recovered from this major surgery, although she'll still be getting chemo at that point.

One thing we did while she was here was to shop.

Now this is really funny, because neither of us are shoppers. But I went to see a line of clothing that my friend Sharon Slusarski now represents at the local Macy's. I wanted to see what it looked like so I could refer people to her. We did that, but Marcia mentioned in passing that she might need a suit.

We found a beautiful suit, that needed only alternations in the slacks. It was on sale too, so even better. Then we scoured the store for other tops that she might pair with the trousers when she didn't want to wear the jacket. I just kept picking up top after top and then we retired to the dressing room as a team. I'd put the top over her head (still bald and beautiful) and while she was "arranging it," I'd hang up the previous piece.

She ended up with three other tops including we loved that was something that she would have never tried on without me insisting!

The other fond memory of this visit, was the "re-painting" of the butterfly on the side of her head. We originally did it with henna when I visited her, but of course over time it wears off. Unfortunately, this time it didn't take and we think it might be because the henna was old or we didn't do the second step, which was the dabbing on of a lemon juice/sugar concoction. Marcia's daughter Nancy, will have to do the honors when she visits her mom tomorrow before surgery. Heck, we should have just gotten a real tattoo for her!

So for all you out there who don't know Marcia, just send her good vibes anyway.

That will make me happy.

Whenna Ya Gonna' Henna?

A week of my time away from blogging was to spend some time with my friend Marcia Housel. Marcia and I have been friends forever -- well almost. Believe it or not, she was my eighth grad science teacher, then Girl Scout Leader and finally after I married, our families were such great friends that we vacationed together every year.

I moved away and as with long distance friendships, we kept in touch with Christmas letters to each other. We still keep this tradition. She and one other distant friend are the only holiday cards I send. Fat letters are in both.

About four years ago, we decided to begin seeing each other instead of just relying on words. This year was no different. I made the ten hour trip to north of Scanton to Tingley Lake. This is so back in the woods that they have given themselves their own address -- 12 Cottage Lane.

This year Marcia is going through chemo for Ovarian cancer. She lost her hair because of treatments. So what do 60ish year olds do when adversity happens? We just play with it. We played with henna (semi-permanent tattoo dye) one day. Marcia wanted a flower on the side of her head, but I figured I was better at copying a dragon fly from a suggested list of designs. We also each did one foot. Marcia's daughter, Nancy, also helped by doing my foot and I put some henna on Libby's hand. Libby is Marcia's precocious almost four year old granddaughter.

We have not lost our connection with each other in the kitchen. It was amazing one night when we pulled out a summer squash casserole recipe that neither of us had made in a long time. Without talking about who was going to do what, we just started in and made the whole thing in a very coordinated fashion with never a word between us.

Marcia is doing really well with her treatments, no ugly symptoms. She will be seeing the oncologist this week, so all you out there, just keep her in your thoughts that her health will continue to be strong.

And for all of you, have a little fun this summer by doing the unexpected. Henna ain't just for the young people!

Perception

Usually in the past 4 or 5 summers, I have made a goal to take Fridays off. I wasn't always successful and sometimes I only got part of the day, but that was the goal.

This summer, with trying to fill three Certified Networker classes in three widely ranging areas, I have booked my days full with those types of activities. I have days dedicated to meeting with people in Toledo, Findlay and Archbold (near Defiance on the map at left.)

Steve and I don't typically take a summer vacation, so no lengthy time off was planned. Then I got two communications from friends.

My friend, Deanna Tucci Schmitt, said, "I miss you, when can we get together?" We carved out the weekend of the fourth of July.

Then last night my friend, Marcia, (she'll kill me when she knows that I used the picture below!) with whom I had renewed my friendship about three years ago, e-mailed to say that she has ovarian cancer and could I come this summer. Now let me tell you, visiting Marcia and Gary at Tingley Lake, PA is like the best. But with my schedule I hadn't given myself permission to do that.

Now, it's not about me. I will be driving the long trip toward the end of July, if it fits into Marcia's chemo schedule. I'll have to change a couple appointments that week, but I can do that.

Now, I want to be there for her. Don't get me wrong, it will still be fun for me. But friends, especially long time friends, are where my thoughts are this AM.

What goal have you changed in response to a friend's call?

It Just Doesn't Make Sense

Friends mean so much.

I have refrained from writing about this, but it's time.

I have three children. Unfortunately, I only hear from the youngest one, my only daughter, when something is wrong.

She and her husband are in mortgage trouble. I don't need to share the details of why, as it's not important.

My knight (knightess?) in shining armor is my friend Germaine LeBourveau-Smith. Germaine owns Guardian Settlement Services, a company that helps folks who are in the situation my daughter is in. She helps by talking with the financial institution to negotiate a way for all involved to hopefully have a postive resolution from the situation. She charges for her services. Germaine has not been able to obtain any meaningful PR because of that last part. She charges for her services. (And believe me, she doesn't charge enough.)

The comments she get from the media and other government folk are, "But why are you charging for something that people can just do for themselves? After all, they could call their bank and talk with them. They don't need you."

So let me give you an idea of the roadblocks she has run into with CitiMortgage already. She faxed the powers of attorney over to the number listed for such things, got a confirmation.....three times. And still CitiMortgage said they didn't receive it any of the three times. (Could they be stonewalling?) She finally asked to speak to a supervisor. She was told that they (the powers of attorney) would not become active on the account for somewhere between 24 - 72 hours. That's customer service for you.

Because she can't get a clear picture of what is happening on the account and keeps getting different answers from CitiMortgage; on Wednesday of this week Germaine asked for them to send her a payment history. It is now Saturday and she has still not received it. In the meantime my daughter sent a payment at the end of March for April. Yesterday, CitiMortgage sent a "goon" to her home, to hand-deliver a message saying, "Call Ranger Fairbanks at this number. Your call is expected today." This was at 4:30 PM Friday. The man at her door would not identify himself. As far as I'm concerned, this is intimidation and harassment.

Additionally, previous to my daughter contacting me, CitiMortgage, engaged a law firm (they did not identify themselves as a law firm, but as a professional corporation) that demanded a $1200 payment for their services, "or it was inferred that the mortgage very likely would go to foreclosure." $1200! That made me livid. Of course, my daughter and her husband thought they had no choice but to pay it, so they used their income tax return and you know that they'll never see that money again. That was almost a month and a half of mortgage payments.

And the media won't give Germaine the time of day because she charges $250 for the first three hours of her services.

That shady law firm's solution was to add $300 to the monthly mortgage payment, (if daughter and her husband can't pay now, how will they be able to pay more?) It's that same shady law firm that holds people hostage for their fees that are over four times as much as Germaine's fee. I would say that the media is actually criminal in not letting people know that Germaine is a low-cost alternative to highway robbery.

We hear about the mortgage fiasco everyday. In my opinion, some companies are taking advantage of the very people who can't afford it.

Germaine's contact information should be on every billboard right now. Instead of paying for such marketing, she'd rather charge a small amount so that most people can use her services.

I'll keep you posted on what happens as this goes along. I'm sure we've not heard of the last of the stupid bank tricks.

Yea for Lori

My good friend Lori Cannon, was selected as the Distinguished Community Woman of the Year by our Girl Scout Council and this award was announced Thursday morning at their annual volunteer recognition breakfast. I can't think of anyone who deserves the award more.

Lori and I met the day I first visited a BNI group in December 1995. She gave me a referral that very day, wanting to use my sales coaching services. And we have been fast friends ever since then.

When I think of all the stuff Lori has donated her time to, it is really amazing. She trained for and ran her first marathon with Team in Training for the Leukemia Society in my father-in-law's honor. She raised $5,000 to be part of this team.

Lori has gotten me into oh, so much, too. Whether it was a sponsorship for the Exchange Club Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse, or being part of the rowing team for Toledo's Dragon Boat races or being on the committee for the Girl Scout Camp CEO, each time she pulled me in, I knew that we were going to have a lot of fun. She is the one who recruited me for our Master Mind group.

People go to Lori, when they need someone to help them think through a problem. She has this wonderful knack to help people figure out the best way to solve issues without telling them what to do.

Lori sold memorials (tombstones) when I first met her (and she sold a lot of them, because she took the time to allow people to tell her about their loved ones.) In fact, when my father-in-law died, she helped us to create his monument. In 2000 she became a financial planner for Edward Jones and as with everything else, she has attacked this new endeavor with gusto.

I was thrilled to be sitting in the audience on Thursday morning when Lori was recognized for all she does. In accepting the award she shared that her parents set the tone for her future involvement with the community. And she asked all of us to continue to set an example for the scouts as they continue to come along.

Thanks Lori for setting the example for all of us to follow!

Please weigh in on Lori and her accomplishments.

Making Friends

Several weeks ago, friend Rebecca Booth, Imagine That!, planned a surprise birthday party of another friend,

Maggie Sullivan.

Maggie was celebrating a milestone birthday.

Approximately 15 or so people gathered at a local Mexican restaurant before Maggie and Rebecca arrived.

Maggie was dumbstruck when we yelled, "Surprise."

Here is what she had to say after the event.

"Was I stunned into silence on Sunday when I saw a group of familiar faces (all a blur) sitting at a table in El Camino Real Mexican restaurant!!! How wonderful that you were part of the group and thanks for being there and being part of such a surprise!!! When I try to tell friends in other parts of the country about life in Toledo, they do not believe me!!! My huge secret that cannot be explained is how I arrived in Toledo knowing only family and almost 8 years later I know someone wherever I happen to be!!! Amazing, isn't it???"

For those who have ever moved to a new location, you know it's all about getting involved. Maggie joined The Women's Entrepreneurial Network (WEN) early on wanting to promote her jewelry business. The business has grown and grown and grown, but beyond that, Maggie has connected with a whole series of WEN people that have become friends.

What are your secrets for making friend when you don't know anyone?

Yeah, My Bucket is Half Full

People make it all worthwhile.

Today I met with a young business person who is in the process of starting a BNI chapter. He wants to do it right. The BNI director who is helping him suggested he meet with me. By the time we were done, he had all kinds of thoughts about the types of people he could attract to his group so he gets his chapter off the ground as quickly as possible. I loved his energy.

I have a new trainer for CN in Cincy. Gregg has enthusiasm, energy and great ideas. He gets things done. I am enjoying the extra umph he gives me. He's three hours away, but as the butterfly flaps its wings and the air is disturbed around the world, so does Gregg make his positive vibes come my way.

Another Certified Networker friend, Janice, from Florida called asking for some advice. We talked for quite awhile. It felt good that someone else valued the information that I could provide...and she gave me a couple good ideas, too.

Tonight, Sandy Pirwitz, Sandy's Stuff and I delivered a check to one of the charities, Aurora Gonzales Community Center, from our Masters of Sales event. It was dark at 5:30 PM and we had to meet in a not a very nice part of town. But inside at the board meeting, when we gave them the $700 check they had tears in their eyes. It made it all worthwhile.

I am lucky to have so many great people in my life.

What makes you smile like I am tonight?

Having Fun in San Diego

Fun

That was not on my list of goals to achieve when I headed out to the BNI conference.

I think I will have to have it at the top of the list from now on.

Because I had a TON OF FUN at the conference.


Here's why.

I roomed with my good friend Michelle Dononvan from Pittsburgh. We shared ideas and she gave me a wonderful way to market my classes, in-between classes. Thanks Michelle!

We shared a common door (that was always open) with two other directors from Ohio. Sandy Pirwitz and Joani Donovan kept things in an uproar. Sandy wow'd us with a new outfit at least twice a day. Joani taught us new phrases.

We also hung out with new director, Andrew Kistner. He's only 22 and our job was to season him a bit! The funniest comment of the conference came from Andrew when he shared how Joani recruited him to be a director by calling him "at the butt-crack of dawn!"

Laughter. This conference showed me that I want more of it in my life.

How do you get your jollies?

V.- V.I.P.

Last night Steve and I asked his mom, Marilyn, to go out for dinner. She said that she wanted Italian. That made me remember an email I had received a couple days ago that let me know that our friends, Gus and Cheryl Nicolaidis were having a "soft" opening of their new restaurant, La Scola.

We we arrived at the parking lot, it seemed a little bare, in fact there were cars parked only at the back of the building. The front door was locked and had a handwritten sign saying, "Sorry, our grand opening was mistakenly published as tonight, but it will be Oct. 9."

Disappointment.

But my hubby is not to be stopped.

He just sauntered around to the back door and entered the kitchen. Gus was there and invited us in. There was all kinds of food, as it was supposed to be a tasting night for the staff. Cheryl was at the beautiful bar, giving a taste test to a salad.

She immediately made us feel like welcome guests, not party crashers. We took a tour of the nicely done restaurant including the walls of black and white photos of local personalities and even some nationally recognized people. (Me, "Hey, that looks like Eppie Lederer - Dear Abby - in that picture." It was.) All the photos were taken during the 40 - 50's. Marilyn was happy to see that my father-in-law is pictured twice on the wall.

But let me tell you about the food. The plates just kept arriving at the bar where we sat with Cheryl. The most delectable mozzarella I have ever eaten. The olives were a delight. I think at least six different kinds of pasta made their way to our eating board. The veggie Cacciatore was my favorite for the longest time. Then when I thought I could eat no more, the eggplant Parmesan arrived. It was not only the best I've ever had, the portion size meant that I'd have enough for three meals in the doggie bag. And we thought we were done. But a shrimp appetizer arrived. I cut off just a little piece and oh my god, now I won't be able to decide what to order the first time I visit without crashing the party.

Gus had to leave right when we arrived, but Cheryl, made us feel right at home ... just as if we were in her home. You can bet I will be back because I'll want to share this wonderful experience with others.

Thanks, Cheryl and Gus for a night to remember. And since I can't go to the VIP opening because I'll be teaching that evening, I am content with being a V-VIP - that is a very, very important person. That's one who comes in the back door!

What's your favorite restaurant story?

Networking = Friends

Last night our phone rang multiple times in the middle of night. Actually three different times.

A friend of the family needed some help with a family situation.

When I think about networking, developing friendships, is a huge part of networking.

A friend is someone who will:

Answer your call, without question, in the middle of the night;

Tell you when you did well, and when you did not so well;

Support you in front of people who are being not so supportive;

Offer you the last piece of pizza, even when they are still hungry;

Refrain from laughing when you have two different earrings on (or toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe);

Point out the truth nicely, when you are ignoring it;

Invite you to the lake for a whole week;

Be there no matter what.

That's what networking can deliver. A friend for life!

Networking with Virginia

Long before the word networking was ever bandied about, my mother, Virginia Dickinson, set the tone for how I would run my life.

When she and my dad married, she had not traveled far from her birth home of Newark, Ohio. My dad, Connecticut born, was at Ohio State University getting his PhD. I don't know why my mom was in Columbus, but I think she was working there. Little did she know that her small world would soon change.

She and my dad moved 11 times in 17 years.

Or was it 17 times in 11 eleven years. (And they were not in the military.)

After all, more than ten, who's counting! At their heyday, she and my dad sent out close to 700 Christmas cards all with a personal note from one or both of them.

How could this SHY woman; the ninth child in a family of ten; who as a child never got a word in edgewise; have so many friends?

She made a decision after a couple moves. I heard her explain herself many times. If the day she moved to the new place, she didn't start making friends that very day, six months later she would leave town without friends. And so she made friends immediately!

Talk about pushing out of a comfort zone.

But she looked at the end result and realized that a little discomfort along the way, would be far outweighed by those wonderful new friends.

Talk about a positive networking attitude.

She set the tone.

Did your parents help you to understand the value of networking?

A Friend Moves On

I am sad.

Lynda is gone.

Let me tell you about my friend, Lynda Goodremont.

She made everyone feel special. She made me feel brilliant and wonderful when I was around her.

That was a reflection coming away from Lynda.

Goodbye, Lynda.

Nomination Series #3

When nominating someone for an award, you'll want to read the application to be sure your nominee fits all required criteria. Some of those that might trip you up are a residency requirement, or is there a certain period of time that the person needs to have lived in the area. Has this person demonstrated qualities that are a fit for the award? If not, find a different recognition for this person.

Set a meeting time with your friend to get the information needed. Ask the questions and take notes of what he says. We are all schooled to not brag, but this is the time to help him to do so. Draw more out of him. Ask him to tell you a story. Don't worry about the length of your answers now, just get as much information as possible.

Most selection committees don't want generalities for answers. "He's a wonderful business person," doesn't help them or your friend. Instead a statement similar to, "He has acted as a mentor to five business people to help them start and maintain ongoing businesses in our community. Combined they employ a total of 26 people," gives the committee an idea of this person's accomplishments.

During this process I promise you that you will find out really interesting and surprising information about your friend.

What's the most interesting thing you found out about a friend?